


So oblivious

by Felidominus



Category: Free!
Genre: F/F, Rape, Rape Recovery, Student-Teacher Relationship, Yuri, such nice muscles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:31:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 19,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2130297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felidominus/pseuds/Felidominus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a Japanese proverb that reads "If there is a lid that doesn’t fit, then there is a lid that does." </p><p>Gou discovers something unusual about herself and Ama-chan since, you know, the boys are so oblivious.</p><p>(This is a serious work in progress, I'm shooting for 700 or so word chapters. Yeah, I know, that's pretty short.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Grrrr." Kou growled as she stomped across the women's locker room near the pool at Iwatobi High School. "Boys are stupid." She complained as she twisted the combination on her locker. "So many muscles, which I like, but damnit, they're so bloody oblivious."

The day had passed without incident, again, as the young woman who manages the swim team watched over her beloved muscle bound swim team doing laps in the school pool. She'd been watching them intently all afternoon, walking back and forth in her new one piece swimsuit hoping for at least some sort of reaction from one of them. Her fingers splayed across the spandex as she sighed in the privacy of the locker room. "I'm so tired of just being 'one of the boys' while they're so touchy-feely with each other," she complained.

"You could always call up Sousuke-chan," a soft voice broke the silence of the locker room causing Kou to gasp in surprise. "He is interested in you, obviously."

"Obviously is the problem. He never lets up. He's like a puppy, always trying to talk to me and his hands...." Kou says, "he has a roaming hand issue. Let's just say, he's the last boy I'd date. He does have nice muscles tho." Her gaze loses focus slightly as she imagines his abs. "But no, I'm not... that... interested in him. He's annoying! Like all the boys. Why are boys so terrible?"

The other woman in the locker room laughs. "You sound like me."

"Oh Ama-chan, does it never get any better? Am I doomed to be surrounded by such obnoxious dolts all my life? I mean, I don't mind looking at them, but I want more than just eye candy... I want someone to notice me." the team manager complains as she pulls her uniform out of her locker.

"I... I'm not really the best person to ask that." the adviser for the swim team replies, "I've... well... I've never been that interested in boys."

"Oh?" Kou says, draping her towel over the door of her locker. "You're so pretty though. You must have been fighting off the boys when you were my age, Ama-chan."

The teacher giggles. "I'm still fighting them off Kou-chan. But it really isn't about them being attracted to me. I had to put up with that a lot when I was still working in the business."

"You were so pretty in those pictures." Kou replies. "I was amazed that you were modeling when you were my age."

"It wasn't always sweetness and light, Kou-chan." Amakata-sensei says. "There's a reason I left the business. A good reason." She sighs. "I made good money, but it cost me so much...."

Miho, the teacher known as Ama-chan to her adoring students, watched as the younger woman started removing her clothes. She realized that she was staring at the teenaged girl as she slid out of the pair of loose shorts. Despite herself, Miho's eyes lingered on the defined curves of the young girl before she turned away as her cheeks reddened to the color of a rose. _She is so beautiful, who could not look?_

"So, Kou-chan, do you have plans for the weekend?" Miho asked of the girl changing while moving to the other side of the row of lockers.

"I have some studying to do, but I'll probably finish that up on Friday and review on Sunday evening. I have some planning to do for the boys training, but other than that I don't have plans. It is nice that we get a long weekend, this Saturday being a holiday." Kou replies.

Miho smiles. "Well, I'm planning on doing some shopping on Saturday, I'll be driving to the store so if you need to pick anything up, you're more than welcome to ride with me."

"Oh, thank you, I'd like that. You're not like a teacher at all!" Kou says softly. "You're more like a friend, Ama-chan."

"It makes me happy to hear you say that." Miho admits, "I'll pick you up at 10am?"

"Sure, it's a date!" Kou says as her locker closes. "Well, I'll see you later Ama-chan, thanks again for the invite."

Miho's eyes followed the girl as she walked past the spaces between lockers. _It's a date._ she thinks to herself as her legs feel wobbly and she takes a seat on the bench between the rows of lockers. "A date."


	2. Chapter 2

Miho sits on the bench a few minutes overwhelmed by the once-familiar feelings that are rushing through her body. Her mind wanders back to those days, so long ago but well-remembered.

The bus ride to Tokyo was an eight hour trek along the coast of Honshu, passing by the breathtaking scenery of the ocean and coastline. The huge windows of the bus made it a lovely adventure along the eastern coast. Small islands and beaches, long stretches of cityscape, and a pristine night view all came and went as the bus rolled along the highways. The overnight trip was dangerous for a teenage girl alone, but since her parents death nothing was stopping her from following her dream of modeling in the big city. The producer had made her promises, wooing her with stories of the great successes he'd had with other girls, charming her with praises and compliments. The big time, stardom, it was all ahead of her he said.

But when she arrived, the dreams swiftly faded into the dull reality she'd become trapped in. The modeling contracts asked for her to model in ways she'd not anticipated and clothing so scant and nearly lewd that she was glad her parents were not there to see how she'd fallen. The dreams of stardom were true; she became famous in a way. Her photobooks sold well; the poses and the way the clothing clung to her curves becoming the fuel for many a young man's hormone laced dream. Even worse than the photo sessions, those days spent in the cold wet sand clad only in a skimpy bikini with men surrounding her telling her how to pose, where to place her hands, and, subtly worse, where not to place her hands drove her to tears. The small salary was just enough to live comfortably, but not enough to afford to flee the city and return home.

Those days were filled with fear. Miho, now known as Marin-chan by thousands of creepily adoring fans adapted well to the sadness. She learned to smile when she wanted to cry, to pose when she wanted to hide, to cling to the other girls even when they smelled of liquor and worse. It was then when she met her, an angel fallen like she had. Her stage name was Anri; she was the most beautiful girl Miho had ever met. Her white skin was flawless and soft, the poses the photographer had them assume were no longer unwelcome, but were causing Miho's mind to ponder things she'd once thought unthinkable. Her embraces of Anri were real, the way her fingers splayed against her skin became hungry, and the desire she felt was overwhelming.

Nor was her desire unwelcome as Miho found one day after a shoot. The two girls had escaped their handlers and made their way to a local pub and talked for hours, drinking sweet saki and delighting in each others company. Even hours later, they didn't part, but instead spent the night in each others arms learning to act on the passion they'd found they felt for each other.

The bell ringing through the school snaps Miho from her journey through the past. Gathering her focus, she smooths her skirt and pulls her cardigan around herself like the "armor" it has become for her. "When did I start hiding myself away?" she says, gazing in the full length mirror at the end of the row of lockers. She laughs as she makes her way out of the locker room to gather her materials and finish grading class work prior to going home.

Pausing momentarily at the vending machines hidden beneath the bridge between the school buildings, she selects a soft drink when Kou's visage catches her eye. She freezes solid to the spot as she watches Kou walk towards the gate out of the school; her eyes never wander as she watches the girl who is enthusiastically chatting with her friend. The bright smile, the long hair, the way Kou's skirt dances around her legs as she walks, all these visions become engraved in Miho's memory. The sound of footfalls echo in her ears. Feeling flustered, she grabs her drink and flees, almost tripping over her own feet as she runs. _Stupid! I can't be staring at my students! What am I thinking? And she's a girl for god's sake!_


	3. Chapter 3

That night, Miho leaned back in her couch. She was surrounded by homework in rough piles on either side of her. Her brow furled as she focused on the work of Haruka's on the latest printout. _So close,_ she thought to herself. _He's improving._ She scribbled some notes on the borders, giving him some tips to improve his studies and smiling. Helping her students, regardless of whether or not they were on the swimteam, was one of her pleasures. To be honest, she thought that besides her addiction to the _Naughty Detectives_ television drama, helping her students was her only real pleasure in her life in Iwatobi. She carefully slid the papers further from her on the couch, got up and walked to the kitchen. Thursday nights was usually not a night on which she drank, but the sound of a can of her treasured Orion beer from Okinawa drew her past the bottle of iced tea. Before she realized it, the pull tab was drawn and tossed into the waiting garbage can. She drank slowly from it, savoring the guilty pleasure of the specially ordered beer she'd grown addicted to so many years ago when she was still working as a model.

She moved the papers into neat stacks of the worked and unworked variety on the coffee table before she took a seat again. It was nearing time for the weekly showing of her drama and she smiled to herself. The evening had been productive, over half the papers she needed to grade by classtime the next day were complete and she knew she'd easily accomplish that task even if she put it off until prep time the next day. She flipped through the stations on her television absently, gazing at each for a minute before moving to the next one when a familiar face appeared on the screen.

Anri's face was there, projected on the screen, still as beautiful as she was in Miho's memories. The advertisement didn't matter, it was for chocolates, but the impact it had on Miho was intense. Miho had known that she was still working in the business, but until this day had successfully avoided seeing her. Fumbling on the remote, she paused the television as tears started to fall down her cheeks. The beer was drained as she cried, gazing upon the girl she'd loved so much but lost. It had been years, but still the pain crushed her.

One beer quickly turned into two, the image on the screen locked in the smile Miho remembered so well. The second beer turned into a third, causing her to stumble slightly as she walked back to the kitchen to heat some food up. She stood there, watching the seconds tick off her microwave's counter, remembering Anri's smile, her touch, the sound the her voice, the way she looked in the moonlight. It was like a fairytale.

And then it wasn't.

The dream quickly turned into a nightmare. Miho hadn't been comfortable with a lot of the recent photoshoots, but she'd made it through them because the pay was good. And it had been getting better as her reputation grew. She still looked forward to the shoots with Anri most, but even the solo work she had been getting wasn't unbearable when she knew that Anri was waiting at home. They'd become inseparable in the few months they'd been dating since that night in Okinawa. Anri had taught her so much about herself, not just in bed, but also helped with her school lessons which she'd been stumbling through before even with the help of the tutors hired by the production agency for which she worked. Even when the couple announced they would be rooming together, no one was stunned as the obvious friendship between them was apparent to all, although the fact that it went far beyond that was a closely guarded secret. When the tutors came, Anri would leave to "her room" which was fully furnished in her own style. The couple took turns sleeping in each room to keep up appearances and naturally one closet was not enough space for all their clothing. It worked very well indeed.

Miho's habit of showing up early for her photo shoots ended up being her downfall. She arrived at the shoot early, expecting her manager to be there, but there was no sign of anyone associated with her company in attendance. The photographer and his assistants grinned as she walked in with a bright, almost sunny, "Good morning! Thank you for your kindness today!"

The non-response from the crew should have tipped her off. Even the worst shoots were polite events, almost too polite considering the almost lewd nature of some of the photographs that had been taken of "Marin-chan". The crew grunted in response. The door closed behind her ominously and the nightmare started.

Instead of softness, the feelings she felt were of hard things, long things, pressing against her, making her scream in pain and terror. She fought back against the men but there were too many, if one let loose, two more seemed to appear from nowhere. Her clothes laid in ruins at the base of the set. The flashes of light from the cameras disorientated her. Commands were given, slaps fell on her body, her face contorted in pain and despair. The men moved in, slid into her, above her. Thick, sticky strands of something she'd never encountered but knew instinctively what it was trailed from her body back to the men who had soiled her. Dirtied her. Plunged inside her like animals. Her screams only excited them until her voice was worn and ragged. She no longer fought, she no longer had control over her body as it was ravaged. Repeatedly she wished she was dead. Until it ended and she laid in a heap covered in sweat and semen. She cried more that day than she ever had before as she laid like a bag of trash thrown into the alleyway outside. The shame of the event haunted her as she huddled whimpering like a beaten dog. She felt less than human.

The memories of that last day, the event that changed her life forever stunned her out of the drunken stupor she was in and Miho wailed in the loneliness of her apartment. Anri's name escaped her lips, like it did back then when the nightmares were an everyday event, but her former girlfriends' arms were not there to comfort her. She was alone and broken. The phone, the same she had from then still held Anri's number, but she feared calling her like this, in this state, in the state that ended their time together. The times when she mourned the passing of the beautiful idol Marin-chan and, in her depression, fled Tokyo to become Ama-chan the teacher.

Miho draws herself up off the couch and stumbles into the bedroom. Stripping naked, she tosses herself onto the bed uncaring. The darkness inside gnaws at her, the emptiness, the loneliness of the room reminding her of what she lost in Tokyo. Her sheets, stained with her tears, do little to warm her as she crawls beneath them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me. I'm sorry Ama-chan. So sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

Friday morning and dawn had cracked. Some distance from Miho's apartment, an alarm was blaring on Kou's nightstand in the house her mother had inherited from the grandmother of the Matsuoka siblings.

"Nnnngharable," the teenage girl mumbled sleepily as she rose to turn off the alarm. Five am is too early in the morning, but as her mother worked during the day and Kou was the only one living in the house besides her an early waking had become a habit. Kou didn't hate the mornings, since waking early meant she was able to spend time with her mother before they each went to work and school respectively.

Dragging her brush through her hair while brushing her teeth was a special skill she'd learned and helped wake her up. Her hair fought with her so she finished brushing her teeth and focused on the battle with her long hair, eventually brushing it into submission and pulling it into a ponytail which cascaded behind her. Returning to her room, she switched from the pyjama top and traded out her pants for a fresh pair, tossing the discarded clothing into the waiting clothes hamper. Her uniform, hanging on the back of her bedroom door, was next. She pulled on the shirt, buttoned it up twice due to finding she had skipped a hole her first time, then dragged on her socks, her skirt and tied the tie around her neck. Dressed for the day, she headed down to the kitchen where she started preparing the lunches for the swim team, humming while she worked.

Her mother appeared, a bit unkept and flustered, in the doorway to the dining room. "You seem happy today, Gou." she said before walking up, wishing her a good morning and kissing her cheek.

"I am. I have a date this weekend to go shopping and I'm feeling great today."

"Oh! A date?" her mother asks. "So which one did you pick? Haruka? You've been friends with him since you were young. Or maybe Nagisa? Or is there a dark horse in the running?"

"None of the above," Kou replies, "Ama-chan is picking me up, I have some things to buy for the team and she said she'd drive me."

"Oh, that's nice. Is she that nice young teacher you told me about? The classical literature one?" her mother asks.

"That's her. She's our adviser and a good teacher. She puts up with two of the boys in her homeroom so she must be a saint!" Kou gushes over the young teacher. "And she has such good fashion, I'm going to have her give me some advice."

"It sounds like you have it all planned out."

"Well, I've always been good at planning things. I think it sometimes annoys the team, but I'm always thinking of ways for them to improve their muscles, I mean, their swimming." Kou says smiling. "And Ama-chan-sensei is so nice, I enjoy spending time with her. She gives me a lot of advice. I respect her so much."

Her mother smiles. "It is good to have friends, but remember, she is your teacher and you have to be respectful and thank her. I'll leave you some extra money so you can get her a gift for driving you."

"Yes Mom," Kou says smiling, "You'd love her. She's so together. So down to earth and perfect. I want to be a woman like her when I grow up. Do you think I'd make a good teacher?"

Kou finishes up her breakfast and starts washing the dishes from breakfast. Her mother brings in her setting and gives her a hug. "I'll see you tonight, honey," she says. "I'm glad you have a friend, but you really should make friends your own age."

"I have friends my age." Kou says. "Chigusa, remember, she's in my class."

"One friend, honey," Masami replies. "I'm just worried about you."

"It's okay, Mom, I understand, but Ama-chan is great." Kou replies. "Not only is she a great teacher, she listens to me when I talk about, you know, things. She really pays attention."

"I know, dear, but...."

"I'm okay Mom," Kou says, "You raised me to be a strong woman who can stand on her own, after all."

"It's just," her mother starts, "All your friends are either adults or those boys."

"The team is great too." Kou says.

"All I'm saying is... you need to be with girls too."

Kou sighs. "I'm plenty girly." she spins causing her skirt to lift a little.. "I'm wearing a skirt and pants and have long hair and...."

Her mother nods. "I'm over-thinking things, I'm sure." She smiles warmly. "Have a good day at school, honey, I love you."

"Love you too, Mom." Kou says, watching her leave then returning to washing the dishes.

The clock in the living room strikes the hour with a chime and she drains the sink before gathering her things. She slips on her shoes at the front door of her home, walks outside where she finds Haruka waiting.

"Haru-chan, thanks for always walking with me to school," she says smiling.

"No, thank you for always making us lunch." the swimmer says taking the bag containing the boxed lunches from her. He rambles about swimming while they walk to school together.

Kou suffers through classes. Her mind wanders as she thinks about the upcoming weekend and her plans with Ama-chan-sensei, although the worries of her mother still linger in her mind. It isn't like she tries to isolate herself from the other girls, but her specific tastes really keep her apart from the other girls. Her mind drifts to the swim team and their delicious muscles which causes her to be lectured by her math teacher when she fails to respond to him calling on her. _"Damn math, I hate this class. Why can't all my classes be with Ama-chan?"_ she thinks to herself. _"Her classes are always so interesting."_

In deference to her mother's wishes, she spends lunch with Chigusa and a couple girls from her class. She blushes as she realizes she doesn't remember their names. "Gou, did you finish the homework for classical literature?" Chigusa asks. Kou nods. "Can I borrow them?" the other girl asks clasping her hands in front of her as if she's begging.

A smile crosses Kou's face as she realizes that their next class is with Ama-chan as she pulls out the assignment to share with her classmates. "Just remember, my name is Kou not Gou." she corrects her friend.

The other girl laughs. "Whatever you say, you still reply when I call you that."

"I just don't like it. It's a BOY'S name." Kou says. "Why did my father name me this? It's so annoying."

"It makes you stand out." Chigusa responds. "Besides, you hang out with all those boys with girly names. It is fitting!"

The other girls chime in about how jealous they are that Kou gets to spend so much time with the "hunks" of the swim team which causes her to smile and think of their wonderful abdominal muscles. "You just don't get it. All they think about is swimming. It's so annoying. I try to get them to talk about anything else, but there's nothing but water in their heads."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Chigusa counters. "They're so gorgeous, who cares if they're a little focused."

Kou sighs remembering her attempts to get them to notice her. She smiles as she thinks about Ama-chan who always pays attention to her. _"If only she were a boy."_ The images in the magazine she'd found in the locker room while cleaning come to mind and she smiles. "She is really pretty though. I wonder why she hides it."

"Who's pretty?" Chigusa asks causing Kou to blush as she didn't intend to say that out loud.

"Oh, Ama-chan-sensei." Kou replies. "Don't you think so?"

"She's cute, but..." Chigusa says. "She always dresses so dumpy. Those cardigans, ew."

Kou thinks for a minute realizing that Ama-chan doesn't wear a sweater when she's alone with her outside of school. The bell rings as Chigusa hastily copies Kou's homework and the group splits apart for class and Miho enters the classroom. Chigusa smiles, shoves the printout into Kou's hands and waves a thank you before returning to her desk leaving Kou alone again.

 _She really is pretty though,_ Kou thinks to herself watching the teacher walk to the podium. _I wonder why she hides it?_


	5. Chapter 5

That same morning Miho awoke drenched with sweat. Crawling from beneath the sheets of her bed she pondered calling in sick. Her head ached, the back of her throat itched and the light streaming from the gap between her curtains bothered her eyes. As she rose from bed, the world spun beneath her. The morning came too soon.

Crossing from her bedroom, she walked through the hall connecting her room to that of the bath. Closets containing her clothes lined each side of the hall causing her to curse the layout. The effects of the alcohol the night before caused her to weave slightly as she walked this familiar path and stumble toward the sink. She poured herself a glass of water and then looked at herself in the mirror.

The reflection in the mirror told her the tale of the night. Bags were present below her eyes and the whites of her eyes were red. Standing there, clad only in her underwear she recognized she was a wreck. The night before had caused her to spiral downward and even a quick shower wasn't going to help. It would take work for her to reach her normal demure look. She shook herself trying to force the blood that seemed to be moving sluggishly through her veins to flow through her body.

Turning the knob on her shower caused cold water to assail her skin, pasting her pants to her body and forcing her to jump backward to escape the stream. "Damn it." she cursed as she started to do bathroom gymnastics to avoid the flow of cold water that seemed to be laser guided in its attempts to spray her. The showerhead leaped in and out, driven by the force of water away from her hands as she reached for it. Finally, drenched and feeling even more miserable the spray stops as the water is shut off. "I'm off to a brilliant start." she complains into the emptiness of her home.

Finally showered, dressed and presentable, with a warm breakfast cooked, she sits at her table and turns on the television. The face of her former lover still gazes at her, paused and still. "Good morning Anri." she says nearly breaking down as she searches for the remote.

The remote discovered and the image removed from the screen. She finishes getting ready for work. Returning to her closet, she pulls out a thin cardigan from the rack containing many of the button up sweaters and pulls it on. She laughs slightly. "I don't need this. I'll be fine without it, but... they're my allies. They didn't leave me." she glares over at the television. "Unlike you Anri."


	6. Chapter 6

Classical literature is Kou's favorite class. It isn't that she's great with the classics, if anything the opposite is true. She hates reading in class. She hates being singled out. But once Ama-chan-sensei starts class, something inside her switches on and she hangs on every word.

Unfortunately, today Ama-chan had plans for her class. Walking from front to back, she leaves a printout on each student's desk. Reaching Kou, seated in the back of the room, she smiles at her and hands her a copy of the pop quiz from the bottom of the stack.

Kou takes the quiz from her teachers hand and notices a note paperclipped to the handout. She pulls it off, then like her peers around her begins frantically scribbling on the sheet. Covertly she moves the note into her desk and class goes on.

After class Kou snags the note she'd hastily hidden away and rushes for the ladies' room. Her toe taps as she waits for a stall to open and then, as the former inhabitant clears the way, ducks inside. A feeling of anxiety mixed with excitement rushes through her body, a feeling akin to that of getting away with doing something deliciously naughty. The mix of adrenalin and dopamine causing shivers to run through her body as she focuses on the note passed to her by, of all things, her teacher. The noise of the other girls in the washroom fade away and her focus sharpens on the short hand written note:

"Kou-chan,

I know it's sudden, but I need to talk... I need someone to talk to... and I know its wrong for me to ask this of a student... but... please... please... can I please count on you? If so, I'll meet you in the locker room after swim practice starts. Please... I need... this....

Amakata"

Kou smiles. She smiles so broadly it literally hurts. The joy she felt was addictive.

But at the same time she's troubled. _Why do I feel so... amazing... when I think about sensei?_ she thinks to herself. _Why... why does just seeing her make me feel like smiling?_


	7. Chapter 7

Kou-chan hides the note away and exits the stall. She washes her hands as she tries her best to hide her excitement. She checks her hair and leaves the room, heading back to her classroom. The teacher for her next class incites the opposite feeling that Ama-chan does in her. Instead of happiness and joy at learn, the physics teacher instills fear and loathing. But not this day, she remains smiling and even when called on feels confident in her answers.

The final classes end. The class breaks up and quickly begins cleaning the room, pushing desks aside to sweep beneath them. Chigusa appears with a broom and a story, distracting Kou while they sweep and causing her to work slightly slower than she'd like.

Miho, on the other hand, worked silently in the teacher's lounge. The pop quiz was a great idea to not have to stand in front of her classes and try to talk. Talking hurt too much today. Simply continuing to live was taking all her energy and concentration. The other teachers tried to make small talk, complaints and chatter, news and gossip, none of which interested Miho who was trying her best to not slink down and hide beneath her desk. _So many eyes._ she thought to herself as she worked against the answer sheet for the quiz she'd given earlier. _So many eyes... glaring... looking... staring... eyes._

The pain still rose. Not a stranger to her in the least. She could feel it coming that darkness, the fright, the desire to flee, to need to hide away. From everyone, from herself, from her memories. The voices chipped away at her walls. The fragile walls she had built around herself like armor seemed paper thin today. The desire to cry welled up inside but she gulped it down and soldiered on.

The final bell of the school day rings and she turns to leave the lounge. She hoped that Kou would understand, would be there, would be... what she needed.

For her part Kou, still wearing her school uniform rather than having changed, instructs the men of the swim team on their workout routine for the day then leads them through stretching to warm up. The boys follow her instructions, almost without complaint for once, and she watches them move through the daily exercises. The routine completed, she blows her whistle signifying their release to practice their individual strokes in the pool. She watches them run to the pool their muscles rippling in their partially disrobed state and nearly forgets herself in her fantasy. "Oh, Ama-chan," she mutters, "Ok, Nagisa, you're in charge today. Ama-chan-sensei needs me, I'll be back later."

"Ok, Gou-chan," the young-appearing boy yells back as she glares at him for not calling her Kou, "see you later!" He waves energetically at her and she smiles knowing the team is in at least competent hands as she leaves to meet with the teacher she idolizes.


	8. Chapter 8

The locker room was dark when Kou arrived. Switching on the light, she saw Miho sitting on the bench between the lockers. She knew something was wrong by the way her shoulders were hunched even without seeing her face.

"Sensei, are you... okay?" she asked.

Silence was the only response so she stepped forward. One step. Then another as she moved into the room. The hunched figure of her teacher, the woman she admired most, was still. Unmoving and silent.

Another step forward was taken and she reached her hand out towards her teacher. "Sensei?"

This time the woman before her answered. "Oh, Kou-chan, I..." she turned around to face Kou.

Kou saw her face. Something wasn't quite right. It was pale. Her eyes were sunken. _"Did she look like this during class?"_ Kou thought to herself trying to remember.

"I... You... Well, I guess... I don't know what to say. It is wrong for me to ask a student...." Miho says. "But... I don't have anyone else I can trust. And we're... friends... right?" The teacher's eyes focus on Kou's. There's a glimmer of something like a mix of hope and desperation to them.

"I think so. My mother says we are." Kou says trying to find the right words.

"You talk about me with your mother?" Miho asks.

"Yeah, Mom... well... she's worried I don't have any friends. Yes, Ama-chan-sensei, we're definitely friends."

Miho brightens at those words. "Good." she pauses "Then can we talk for a while? I need... someone... to listen."

Kou looks down at her teacher who's sitting form seems so small, so fragile before her. She realizes she's kind of tall for a girl, almost towering over her classmates, but Ama-chan had always been bigger than life to her. Seeing her like this was... special. Something inside her wanted to reach out to her, to wrap her arms around her... to protect her. "Ama-chan, you can always count on me to be there for you to talk to." she said realizing that something in her heart had been aching to say those words.


	9. Chapter 9

The darkness of the locker room was comforting Miho thought to herself as she sat waiting for Kou to arrive from directing the swim team's efforts at the pool. The low light made her feel like no one could see her. No one could judge her. No eyes could be boring into her and seeing the darkness that gnawed away at her mind.

"Sensei?" Kou's voice called out to her but she didn't answer.

 _How can I do this? How can I rely on someone so young? So inexperienced? And worse, she's my student!_ Miho thought as the lights assailed her eyes. She pulled her cardigan tighter around herself as she heard the footsteps behind her.

"Are you... okay?" the teen asked her.

She wanted to scream "NO!" but stopped herself. Tears were welling up in her eyes and the doubts were mounting in her mind. _Why did I ask her again? Why... why do I feel like I need to rely on her? Why do I feel like... maybe... she'll understand me?_

The sound of footfalls were closer now. "Sensei?" the teen inquired and Miho knew she couldn't ignore her. Not when she's right there.

"Oh... Kou-chan..." she fumbled over the words. "I..." The faltering was so annoying. The words she wanted to say didn't come out of her mouth at all.

Miho gazed up at Kou. The young woman's face was filled with worry. _Over me?_ she thought. _Why would she?_ Miho knew her mouth kept moving. The words, the words were coming out in a weird stutter. She heard herself begging the young woman to be her friend.

"Yes, Ama-chan-sensei, we are definitely friends." Kou said.

Miho smiled. Smiled for real. Not the fake one she'd been showing for so long, A feeling of joy swept over her. It wasn't enough. Not yet, she needed more. "Can we talk for a while? I need someone to listen." she asked the young woman who smiled down at her.

"Ama-chan, you can always count on me to be there for you to talk to." the younger woman said causing Miho's heart to fly.

Calm down. Calm down. Miho thought to herself as she tried to cool the unexpected excitement that was rushing through her body. "Well, do you have some time this afternoon?" Kou nodded.

"We should probably check on the boys first," the manager of the swim team suggested. "But after that, I'm all yours."

Miho couldn't help herself as she smiled. The smile of this girl was addictive. Before she knew it, she was embracing her, hugging her tightly. Tentatively, almost shyly, the other girl returned her hug. "Thank you." she whispered into the other girl's ear. "Thank you so much Gou."


	10. Chapter 10

The pair walk out to the pool where the boys, as usual, are all business. Nagisa stands on the edge of the pool studiously watching Rei swim through the water. His eyes never leave his body. Kou smiles as she realizes that as much as she loves the well-defined muscles of each of the boys, so do they, but they'd never voice that love like she does. "Oh, you're back!" Nagisa says as he finally notices she has joined him poolside.

"Yeah, I can take over. Have you been in the water yet?" she aks.

"No, I was watching. But I'll work out now, if you don't mind."

Kou nods and takes the whistle from him. "Have fun!"

The boy smiles and heads to his lane.

Kou watches him dive into the pool then walks back to sit in a chair near Amakata-sensei's large umbrella. The older woman is lounging as is her habit under her shade and smiles as Kou arrives. "They're very good." she says. "And very muscular."

Kou laughs. "Am I that obvious?"

"Only to someone who doesn't have water on the brain all the time." Miho replies. "Someone who pays attention to you." she pauses and drinks from the juice she brought with her. _Someone like me._

Kou blushes. "I don't even know why I stare. It isn't like they'd be interested in a plain tomboy like me."

"Cause attractive people attract your eyes. That's normal, Kou-chan." Miho says.

"Then why do you hide away?" Kou responds. "I'm sorry... I don't know where that came from... but you're so pretty."

"Gou, if I have one piece of advice to give you," Miho says. "Being pretty isn't always a bed of roses. It can be a curse."

"I..." Kou tries to put her thoughts into words. "I understand that up here," she points to her head, "but I still want to be as beautiful as you were in those magazines."

Ama-chan doesn't respond right away.

"I know I'm not supposed to talk about that, but...." Kou starts.

"It... it isn't a happy memory for me. I'll tell you about it. I promise." Miho replies. "But not here. Later." She smiles at the girl. "I promise. But, remember, I warned you it isn't a happy, pretty story. But you are my friend, and... I trust you. I only hope you can come to trust, respect and understand me as well."


	11. Chapter 11

_Maybe I said too much._ Miho ponders as she watches the boys swim. The water looks inviting and cool. The warmth of the late spring afternoon is welcome, just weeks ago the pool had been covered and the team had been banished to working out at the swim club. Miho didn't mind having to drive over to the remote pool, but there was something about the man who ran it that didn't sit right with her. Maybe it is the way he's always watching me.

"So I'll get changed and meet you by your car Sensei?" Kou asks, bringing the teacher back to the present.

"Oh, yes, I'll gather my things and meet you there." Miho smiles. "I might even beat you." She laughed. It came easily, so easily considering that less than an hour ago she had felt like giving up.

Kou notices the change in her mood. "I'm glad you're feeling better." she says smiling. "A smiling Ama-chan is the best Ama-chan." Then the teen hugged her. It was a sudden, familiar movement that caused the teacher to swoon. The scent of her wafted through her, causing something to react inside her. Something she thought she had abandoned years ago.

"Yes, I'm... feeling... better." Miho says. The urge to hug this girl, to hold her, to not let her go rose inside her. _No, I mustn't. Friends, we are friends. Nothing more. Not again._ But her arms were around her, hugging her regardless.

It was like Kou was reading her mind when she whispered in Miho's ear "it's ok." The young girl smiled at her. The smile was so warm, so welcoming.

"Is it?" Miho replied softly. "Is what we're doing really ok?"

The girl in her arms laughed. "Does it feel ok?" Miho nodded. "Then it is ok," Kou answered as she stepped away. "I'm here... for you." Then she left. Miho took a different route back to the teacher's lounge rather than passing through the locker room where she knew Kou would be changing shortly.

The lounge was empty as Miho gathered her things for the night. The swim team had ran a bit late, the boys staying in the water until the last possible minute and Kou's whistle ending the practice. Even Haruka who's attachment to water was strongest had lifted out of the pool and trudged to his locker with a bit of fatigue haunting his steps.


	12. Chapter 12

_I hugged her._ the second year girl thought to herself as she walked into the locker room. _I really hugged her. And she hugged me back!_ she thought as she flicked at the light switch and illuminated the room. Her heart was beating so hard. Her hands were damp with sweat and her ears burnt. Breathing was hard. The thoughts of her teacher, her hero, her role model pressed against her body was causing quite the reaction as she fumbled with the zipper of her red tracksuit as she tried to change her clothes. "And now we're... going... um... somewhere." she said out loud as if speaking it aloud made it more real.

Kou could hear her heartbeat, seemingly echoing through the room, as she changed. The tracksuit was replaced and she stood there in mostly unclothed in the cozy room. The cool of the floor and the warmth of the air felt good. The air against her mostly bare skin caused her to shiver. _Clothes, Kou, clothes._ she thought to herself as her mind wandered. The scent of her teacher's perfume was fresh in her mind and the feeling of her body, the softness and warmth caused her body to react in unexpected ways. _I have to stop thinking about this. She's my teacher. And a woman!_

Kou sighed. _It's not like this is the first time._ she thought remembering the disastrous night last summer. _Please, be different this time._ she wished as she finally finished changing.


	13. Chapter 13

The sight of Kou leaning against her pink car reading note cards as her lips move drew the breath away from Miho as she walked into the nearly deserted parking lot. Her small car was parked in her usual spot but having someone waiting for her there was making her heart race.

"Did you wait long?" she asked as she walked up to the car before hitting the button on her keyfob to unlock the doors of her March.

"Not long," Kou replied, putting her flashcards back into her bag. "Yoshitaka here was good company."

The reference to her car by its nickname caused Miho to smile as she realized that this girl really paid attention to her. "He's a good boy. Is it okay with your family if you stay out this evening?"

"Mom was a bit concerned, but I told her I was staying with a friend and she was ok with that." Kou says.

As Miho turns the key in the ignition she realizes what her student has just said. "You're... staying the night?"

"Well, we do have a date in the morning." Kou says laughing. "I figured we might as well get an early start."

"Well, we'd better pick up some groceries. Do you mind if I make some stops...." she begins. She tries to remain calm.

"You're cute when you try to hide that you're flustered, Ama-chan." Kou says with a wink.

The blush spreads across Miho's face. "You're my student."

"Wrong. Right now, I'm your friend." Kou replies. "Monday morning, you'll be my teacher, but right now... I'm your friend. And I'm here for you."

"It isn't that simple, Gou, and you know it."

"Why not? I'm okay with it. And it isn't like it really matters. In two years, I'll be out of school and going to college. And we'll still be friends. I promise." the teen says. "As long as you need me, I will be here for you."

Miho pulls the car into the parking lot of a supermarket. Being a small, seaside town parking is plentiful. "Well, what would you like for dinner?"

"Oh! Hamburger steak! It's my best recipe!" Kou exclaims. "I know its childish, but... this once... I'd like to treat you to my best cooking!"

"I'll take you up on that! It's my favorite!" Miho replies.

"I know, every time we go to a family diner after meets you order it." Kou responds as Miho blinks at her. "I pay attention." she boasts. "And... as much as I like cooking for the boys...." Miho waits for her response as Kou works up her nerve. "I practiced this so I could cook it for you."

Miho reflects upon those words which remind her of those days years ago when she lived with Anri and they shared the cooking duties. It wasn't simply that hamburger steak was her favorite meal, it was a meal that Anri enjoyed making. Despite the memory of Anri assailing her, the smile of Kou seems to drive the pain back as she brings over the ingredients and places them in the basket Miho had picked up at the entrance to the store. Simple questions like "do you have oyster sauce?" and "which brand tonkatsu sauce to you prefer?" pepper their quiet conversation as they walk through the aisles.

Kou tops off the basket with a container of ice cream and a bottle of chocolate sauce for dessert before they check out and drive the short distance to Miho's apartment.

"Please forgive the mess," Miho says as she unlocks and opens the door to her apartment.

"Forgive my intrusion," Kou says as she crosses the threshold of the apartment. The two slip off their shoes and Miho hands Kou a pair of slippers. "Every time I come here, I can't believe how modern you are...." Kou says looking around as Miho picks up the evidence of her binge the night before. "You have great taste."

"Thanks," Miho replies uncertain what to say. "I... try to keep it simple."

"Well, it is simple, but functional and it feels like "Ama-chan"." Kou remarks. "I like being here."

"I like you... being here." Miho admits. "Thank you again, I'm... really grateful."

"What are friends for?" Kou says putting the last of the groceries away as Miho starts cleaning up her bedroom.

"I'm gonna change, do you want to borrow something to wear?" Miho asks. "I think most of my clothes will fit you."

"Oh! Thank you!" Kou responds. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Oh, not at all." Miho responds. "I think you'll look cute in this... and this..." She gazes over at the teen. "And maybe these socks. Yeah, that will look real cute."

Kou giggles. "It's like we're playing dress-up! Can I pick clothes for you?" she asks already looting Miho's closet. "Oh this is cute!" she exclaims choosing a top then a skirt. "Why don't you wear these to class? You'd be so cute!" The young girl smiles before suddenly advancing towards her teacher. "Ok, out of that cardigan."

"But..." Miho says blushing scarlet as the teen starts removing her clothes.

"No buts... tonight is special, right?" Kou replies tossing Miho's cardigan into the laundry basket. "We'll eat, we'll talk, we'll... spend the night.... together." She smiles. "Like girlfriends. It will be fun!"


	14. Chapter 14

Kou could barely contain her excitement as her teacher didn't push her away. The cardigan fell to the floor. Her fingers moved to unbutton the blouse next, unlatching the broach that held the collar closed first. One button then another came undone revealing the pale skin beneath. She drew a breath and gazed into her teachers eyes. There was something there, a hint of something she recognized. The excitement was getting to her, the same feeling she felt when she stared at her swim team's muscles but somewhat different, somewhat sweeter. "Miho...." she whispered and the spell was broken.

"We can't do this Kou," her teacher said. "I... I... want... but not yet. Please, we're friends right? Let's stay this way a while...."

Tears welled up in Kou's eyes, but she didn't quite cry. "So... if I'm patient... maybe?"

"Yes. Definitely. Maybe." Miho admitted. "I like you. But, there's so much... so much you don't know. Yet."

Kou sighed. "At least I didn't blow it." she smiled at her teacher who still stood so deliciously close. "I... blew it last time."

"Oh Kou..." Miho said. "You didn't blow anything. This is about me. You just... you don't know... and I haven't told you."

"Will you?" Kou asks.

"Yes, but let's cook first. So go... get changed. We'll make dinner, eat and chat. I have so much to tell you." Miho says as Kou turns away. "And I hope... I don't know what I hope for yet, but I want you to be here when I do know."

The two dress seperately. The welling feelings inside Kou were still present, the need still there, but she understood that Ama-chan had something troubling her, something she needed to say. _Calm down. she thought to herself. Don't rush, don't press. Don't mess this up._ she thought as she slipped into the clothes that Miho had chosen for her. The top was stylish yet demure, the skirt somewhat tight and a little longer than she'd normally wear but not uncomfortable. She gazed at herself in the mirror and smiled. _I'll need to lose a little bit of weight if I plan to make this a habit._

"Oh, that looks cute." Miho says walking into the bedroom where Kou had been changing. Her fingers straighten the collar of the top and she smiles warmly. "Let's make dinner, eh?" she asks as she takes a hold of the teen's hand.

"Yes," Kou replies as she shifts her grip to entwine her fingers with those of her teacher.


	15. Chapter 15

_How long has it been since the last time someone held my hand like this? How easily her fingers melded with my own to bind us together? Does she feel the same as I?_ Miho thought as they walked out of the bedroom side of her apartment and entered her living area. The room seemed so small. It was not the first time Kou has been here, of course, they'd become friends despite neither of them saying those words out loud many months ago. They'd even shared a room on the training retreat together. It wasn't like Kou was a stranger, but there was something different today. And then she let go.

"No..." Miho whispered not wanting the easy physical contact to end. "...I mean, um, I'll get you an apron." She walked quickly, quicker than intended to the closet in her kitchen and pulled out first her apron sliding it over her head and tying it behind her back with a practiced ease before pulling the second one out.

The simple pattern with cats on the pockets brought a rush of memory to her. The days spent with Anri. The meals prepared together with the ease of lovers. "This was her apron." she spoke staring at it.

"Her apron?" Kou asked.

"Anri's... my..." Miho says. "My first love. My first lover."

"Can I really use this? It's important to you." Kou says trying to be considerate.

"No, it is fine. Actually, it is more than fine. Please, Kou, please wear it. Please help me overwrite the memories." Miho says handing it to her. "Actually, she'd probably appreciate that."

"I... I know there's a lot you will be telling me, but I don't want to trample your memories. I want to make new ones." Kou says. "And I would not like to be a replacement." A look of panic crosses her face. "I mean... I want...."

"Don't worry, I know what you meant. And I appreciate your honesty." Miho says. "If I was looking to replace her, I would have long ago. It isn't as simple as that. You never forget your first, Kou."

"Um, I get that... intellectually." Kou says with some visible embarrassment as she dons the apron. "It is a very cute apron. She had good taste... in many ways."

The pair split the cooking duties for the preparation of the meal. As they chat about the swim team and school, Miho feels like she's back in high school. "So, tell me about the girl you mentioned before?"

"Oh, you know... I thought one thing was happening and it was another. She forgave me, of course, we've been friends forever after all." Kou says. "It was just so embarrassing. I thought maybe Chigusa would... I don't know. We've been so close for so long and since none of the boys were showing any real interest and I certainly found her... appealing. But, she's got a boy she likes and it wasn't the right time. And, well, I was a bit too forward.... I was excited and thought that maybe she dressed up with me cause, well, cause she liked me. I guess trying to kiss her wasn't the best idea, maybe I should have taken it a bit more slowly. Like, you know, we're doing...."

"Kou-chan, you know I shouldn't even consider doing this. I like being a teacher and if we get found out... especially before you graduate.... I'll never be able to be a teacher again." Miho says.

"But, we... well, look at it like this Ama-chan, we already sleep together when we're at meets and at training camp. We go shopping. We drink tea together. We spend time talking to each other like this. I've seen you naked. You've seen me. It isn't like we're not already mostly doing everything we'd do as girlfriends." Kou replies. "Honestly, Ama-chan, you know the boys wouldn't ever notice and no one else seems to mind that you and I are... close."

"You know there's more to a relationship than just that." Miho says. "A lot more."

"No, I don't. But I want to know... Is that so wrong? I'm curious. I'm smart. I can learn. I can do whatever you feel I need to. But Ama-chan... I also need...." Kou says frustratedly.

"It's fine for you to be curious. I was curious. I wanted to know about these things. Everyone does. But that doesn't mean that you and I can just start dating." Miho says. "And there's more to it...."

"I'm willing to listen. But first, can you get me a plate to put these on? They're pretty much ready." Kou says giggling. "Lousy timing!"


	16. Chapter 16

Miho pulls a plate out of her cupboard. "Is this large enough?"

"That will work perfectly!" Kou says excitedly taking the plate from her teacher's hands. "I'll plate the hamburg, can you get the salad and the potatoes?"

"Sure," Miho starts scooping the boiled tubers into a bowl. She thinks for a minute and reaches up into her cupboard. Grabbing some olive oil and chopped thyme from within the cabinet, she pours a small amount of oil over the potatoes as she lightly shakes the bowl. She repeats the motions with the thyme and nods. "That will be even better."

The two women take their dishes to the table, which was set by Miho earlier, and take a seat across from each other. Large spoons rest near the salad bowl and next to the potatoes. The scent of the food is overwhelming their senses causing their appetite to wetten. With a quick clap and "itadakimasu" they begin plating their food, taking turns at each dish.

"So...." Kou says breaking the silence.

"I owe you an explanation, or rather a story." Miho begins and Kou simply nods focusing her attention on her teacher. "It began when I was your age, I was living here in a house with my parents and going to school much like you do. I wasn't very popular with the boys and had few friends."

"So, you were like me?" Kou replies.

"Yeah, I was a lot like you." Miho admits. "I was a normal girl, trying to do my best, but... unlike you I wasn't really tied to anyone. I didn't have a swim team to manage, for instance."

"If it weren't for my idiot brother, neither would I." Kou says scowling at the thought of her absent brother.

"Well, don't hate him. He has his reasons and if he'd not gone to Samezuka we'd not be here right now." Miho says. "Things would have been very different.... for all of us."

"You have a point, I guess.... I guess it isn't bad that he's there." Kou says. "I'd still... well, I wish he was living at home. I miss him." Admitting that hurt her and it was obvious on her face.

"I know. I know how it feels to be apart from you family, when I was your age my parents went for a trip. It as a short one, just over to Osaka for a week for work. My father worked at the fishery co-op and made contracts with the supermarkets in the city." Miho says. "It wasn't an unusual trip. I was used to spending time alone like this and my mother would bring me gifts when she came back. Clothes mainly at that age, I loved it when she'd return. I knew they weren't the latest fashions, but they were styles you couldn't get here. It made an impact on me."

"Is that why you have so many stylish outfits in your closet?" Kou asks.

"Part of the reason for sure. Part of it is to try to reconnect to something I lost." Miho admits. "So, this trip was supposed to be typical and they'd be back by Monday." She took a sip of her tea. "But when the phone rang, it wasn't my parents telling me they'd made it to Osaka safely. It was the police. There had been an accident. A serious accident. My father was dead, my mother... there was little hope. A dump truck had crossed the median and slammed into their coupe. It was quick for my father. I spent a week in the hospital until my mother finally passed. It was the second worst week of my life."

"I... I'm sorry. I don't know what to say." Kou replies. "When my father died, people said that to me. It didn't help, but.... My heart aches for you."

Miho smiles. "Thank you, Gou. It was a long time ago." she sighs.

"So was my father's death. But it still hurts." Kou says.

"Well, there are worse things." Miho shrugs. "Far worse things." She blanches. "But that's to come.... Now my parents were smart and had insurance. The driver's company also provided a settlement for the accident. It was a lot of money."

"Money helps, but...." Kou tried to put her thoughts into words.

"Exactly, I had a stipend. I still receive a set amount of money, a decent amount, every month from the trust that was set up. It pays for this apartment. I'm a teacher, we don't make a lot of money." Miho laughs. "But I didn't care. My uncles offered to take me in, but... before I had made up my mind I was approached by a scout." She sighs. "You've got a copy of one of the magazines I was featured in early on. I did a lot of modelling Tokyo, mostly swimsuits of various types. This was before they changed the laws and made it... safer... for young girls in the gravure industry. I did some really lewd work. And as I turned 18, the offers got downright pornographic. But I never really did porn...."

Kou remains silent, thinking of the images in the magazine she has hidden in the space between her bed and the wall. They were pretty, but not very lewd. _Normal. she thought._

"It was on one of these shoots that I met someone. Her name is Anri and she's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. You've probably seen her. She's _famous_." Miho says. "We worked together on a swimsuit photobook. We were put into rather suggestive poses together. It made me feel... hot. Her skin was soft, her body warm, her scent intoxicating and she paid attention to me. We went for drinks after one of the shoots and our friendship blossomed into an affair. She made me feel things I never knew I could. I loved her. I still love her. She was my first love. And my first lover."

"If you love her, why aren't you with her?" Kou asks.

"Life isn't simple. Modeling was dangerous. We knew the risks but I was a kid. I didn't know any better. I showed up for a job and... was raped. Multiple times by multiple men. They... hurt me Gou." Miho's voice cracks and tears flow down her face. "They... hurt me so bad. I woke up broken. My legs didn't work right, my body hurt, my clothes... well, thankfully they were still there. Waiting for me. Mockingly. I tried to clean myself up. It was disgusting, sticky, caked on like pancake batter. I was so filthy. I am so filthy."

"No... you aren't." Kou tries to comfort her.

"You don't know. You don't know how I feel.... how broken I am inside." Miho replied. "I eventually got home after cleaning up in a public toilet at the train station. Men glared at me. Women did worse. Children were told not to look at me. Every word burned into me." Miho wasn't alone crying, she realized. "I'm sorry, Gou, would you like me to stop...."

"No, please, I need to hear this. Like you said, I don't understand. I can't understand. But I can listen and try to be here for you. If you let me."

"Thank you. Honestly, thank you...." Miho says. "I... made it home that day. Anri met me at the door, my phone had been ringing where I left it all afternoon. She was so concerned." Miho sniffles away a sob. "She helped me clean up the rest of the way, holding me as I cried, trying to soothe me. But even her touch hurt... I loved her so much, but when she touched me. I felt like killing myself. So many days I struggled... and I denied her. I didn't let her touch me. I didn't let her love me the way we had before. Our happy "marriage" crumbled like the sham it was. I couldn't be with her the way she needed me to be and she didn't know how to fix it. We couldn't find help... telling people that we were in a relationship would have ruined her, and what was left of my, careers. I didn't model much, I got a job at a convenience store. I sold magazines with her on the cover. I went to school. And then, after weeks of being pushed away, she left me." Miho tried to compose herself then. "I don't blame her. I was... ruining both of us at the time. I tried to toss myself in front of a train that night."


	17. Chapter 17

Kou gasps. "You... tried to kill yourself?" The illusions she'd held so close to her heart were shattering. The perfect teacher, the perfect woman, was here before her breaking down and admitting to being human.

"I didn't succeed; a man saved me that night. A woman the next... The third a child was watching. I couldn't hurt that kid by seeing me doing something so... desperate. I learned to live with it. I succeed mostly. But I'm scared, Gou, I'm scared that if I let someone close... I will hurt her like I did Anri. I'm not suitable for your love. I might not be able to return it."

"Miho..." Gou breathes softly. "You already do. You might deny it. But you show me love every day, you show everyone at school love. You try your best to close yourself off but unlike the rest of the teachers... you give of yourself every day. It isn't coincidence I fell in love with you. It isn't fate either. You try so hard to hide that you're beautiful. You try to hide that you're special. But you are so special to me. You listen to me. You helped me with my brother, you help me with the team. You show me how to love every day."

"But what if...." Miho says.

"We'll figure out when we get there." Gou says, crossing the space between them and hugging the older woman. "I don't need you like Anri did. I've not... experienced the same things she did. I don't have... expectations. I am not your lover. Not yet. I hope to be someday. Please, forgive me, but I can't stop loving you. Cause, I believe you need me like I need you. If that means I am chaste for my entire life, so be it. If I can only be your friend, I will accept this pain and still hold you when you cry."

"Gou...." Miho says. "What if I can never love you? You are so beautiful. You don't deserve this life with someone as broken as me."

"Why not? What am I losing?" Gou says. "I've never been touched. I've never known physical love and I don't know what I'm missing. If I miss it forever, how do I know what I'm missing? And if you're missing out, why shouldn't I? I will be here with you regardless."

"Why? How can you say that?" Miho pleads. "You... you... would sacrifice that... for someone worthless like me?"

"That's where you're wrong, Miho. You're so precious... I can't even describe it." Gou says. "To be by your side makes me the richest woman in the world."


	18. Chapter 18

"I mean... well, I mean what I said... but..." Kou says. "It's so embarrassing."

"Thank you, Gou, really. I'm happy you feel the way you do." Miho says. "And I'm glad you... I'm glad I met you."

"Does that mean that... maybe I have a chance?" Kou asks.

"More than a chance love." Miho says. "We can try. We can... take it slow. Okay?"

"Can I hug you then?" Kou says.

"Please... I'd like that. I..." Miho says as tears fall down her face. "I need your shoulder."

"It's okay, Miho, I'm here." Kou says embracing the older woman. "I'll be here for you whenever you need me." She wipes tears from Miho's face, smiling at her. "I'm so happy right now I could cry, but tonight's your night to cry."

They stay there, hugging in the dining area until Miho's cried out. "Thank you... for being here. And for dinner. It was delicious."

"I'm glad you liked it." Kou says. "And we have ice cream."

Miho laughs the honest laugh that Kou has heard on trips with the swim team. It was different now that Miho was in her arms. The simple act was exciting, dangerous and entrancing.

"We can eat that while we watch _Naughty Detectives_!" Miho says excitedly. "Have you seen it? It's about... these naughty detectives! The lead girl is so cute! You'll love it! I own the first season's boxset if you haven't watched it!"

"I haven't actually," Kou says.

"Well, get ready to be amazed! Aki and Saki are so wonderful... and then in the next season...." Miho starts to babble on. "Actually, let's just watch it! I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise!" Miho smiles broadly. "I've wanted to have someone watch these with me for the longest time!" She hugs Kou tighter. "Thank you," she says in a low whisper. "Thank you so much."

Miho slips out of Kou's arms. "I'll be right back!" she says scampering off into her bedroom leaving Kou standing there staring in disbelief. _What have I gotten myself into?_ she thinks with a chuckle.


	19. Chapter 19

Miho walks into her bedroom and switches on the light. The clink of plates being moved from the dining room to the kitchen comes from behind her causing her to smile. The feeling of happiness surprises her. _Am I ready for this?_ she asks herself. _Is she? Will this be a good thing for her? For me? Why not?_

The sound of water being run in the kitchen halts her introspection. "I'll be out in a minute, I can help you do that!" she calls into the other room.

"Okay!" Kou replies. "It's no bother though, I made this mess."

"Hey, I helped!" Miho responds. "And it was so delicious. I should help you burn some of the calories off anyways."

"Promise?" Kou teases.

"Whatever am I going to do with you?" Miho replies. "Don't answer that. I know you're going to be stubborn about it." She sets the box set down safely and grabs a dish towel. "You want to wash or dry?"

Kou holds up her soap covered hands. "I think I'm washing."

"Then I'll dry." Miho laughs walking behind Kou. She pauses for a moment, then reaches around her and draws her to herself. She inhales and exhales while holding the girl. "I forgot how nice it was to... hold someone."

"I'm really happy as well." Kou says as soon as she recovers from her surprise. "You holding me like this... it's dreamy."

"So are you..." Miho replies. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad you're taking chances on me." Kou says. "I hope... we can stay like this always."

"Well, the dishes aren't going to wash themselves, so we can't." Miho says laughing as she releases her hold. "Now, let's get to it so we can have ice cream."

Kou laughs. "Who's the manager now? You certainly know how to motivate a girl."


	20. Chapter 20

The pair finish the dishes and put them away in the cupboards. "I've learned something new about you again, Miho." Kou says. "You put your glassware here and your flatware there. Let's see, bowls are here. And spoons are in this drawer."

Miho smiles. "Correct!"

"I know we're taking things slow, but... honestly, I want to learn everything about you as quickly as I can." Kou says. "I'm enjoying seeing this side of you; the one you don't reveal at school is important for me to learn."

"I... I don't really mind." Miho says. "I really do like you, Gou, I just... there's like a barrier. A mental one that it feels like I might never be able to remove."

"Well, "instead of worrying, a strong man wears a smile."" Kou recites. "I'm happy with what I've been given. It is more than I deserve, so why not smile."

"Oh Gou," Miho says. "I'm happy with what I have, but I want more. Will you help me?"

"I'll do whatever it takes." Kou says. ""The day you decide to do it is your lucky day.""

"You know reciting your classwork at me is unfair." Miho says. "Now, let's eat that ice cream and watch _Naughty Detectives_. You're going to love this!"

"I know I love this." Kou says hugging Miho suddenly.

Miho feigns frustration but her smile betrays her. "I am falling for you so hard, dearest."

"Let's fall together... with ice cream!" Kou says giggling.


	21. Chapter 21

Kou always felt there was something just "right" about the combination of vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce. Something was wrong with adding to this perfection. She handed the first dish to Miho with a smile. "Enjoy!" she said turning her attention to her own bowl.

Miho eyes the small glacier in her bowl. "I will."

Spoon and bowls in hand they return to the living room. Miho puts the first disc into the player and dims the lights. Returning the couch, Kou snuggles up against her as the show begins.

The show begins and the level of excitement from Miho rises. Kou smirks as she watches the events, both onscreen and next to her, with amusement. The naughty detectives, a pair of fresh young recruits to the police force fight crime in a seaside police precinct. There really isn't anything terribly fresh and new about it, but the spunk from the actresses makes up for that. "That one!" Kou says, "I like that one!"

"Oh! That's Saki! I love her, but my favorite is Aki." Miho says. "Aki's just so..." The two young idols playing the detectives have distinct styles making them easily distinguishable despite their similar names. The episode ends with Saki chasing down a criminal between cargo crates at the shipyard where he is tackled to the ground and arrested with their catchphrase "You've been naughty!" and cool "Suspect apprehended!" lines.

"They are so cool!" Miho says. "I used to want to be in dramas."

"You still could be," Kou says. "You're much prettier than they are."

"No, Gou, I can't. My love now is teaching. I feel like I'm sharing my love in a different way now." Miho says. "I miss being famous sometimes. I miss the glamor of it. But I know, deep down, that it was camera tricks and lies."

"Not all of it. You were real. I could see it in your smile." Kou replies. "That's why everyone loved you. It is why I still love you. You're... so special."

"And you've been naughty!" Miho says giggling and grabbing Kou by the wrist. "Suspect apprehended!"

"I'm so sorry!" Kou says. "How can I make it up to you!"

"Confess your crimes and I'll make it easy on you." Miho says playfully, grasping Kou's other hand.

Kou feigns terror. "I've been a bad girl!" she fake cries.

"And bad girls get punished." Miho says as she twists to be sitting on top of her with her face inches away.

"Oh no...." Kou says as she's held in place by the older woman.

"Oh yes." Miho responds bending toward her.

Their lips touch. The kiss begins softly and then progresses into something more passionate. Miho releases her hold on Kou's wrists and takes a hold of her hands; her fingers slide between Kou's as they kiss again, then again. Miho's body presses against Kou's causing her excitement to rise.

"Gou...." Miho pants when they stop kissing. "I... um... I didn't mean...."

"Yes, yes you did. And it was nice." Kou says. "Kiss me more?"

"I don't know how far..." Miho says.

"I don't care, as long as you love me." Kou says. "Please... I like this. I like you. I love you Miho. We can take it at your pace and stop whenever you feel uncomfortable, but... you make the call. Please, don't give up." Miho looks down at her girlfriend who has tears on her face.

"I will try...." Miho whispers. "I will try hard."


	22. Chapter 22

_Her kisses are sweet flavored with vanilla and chocolate,_ thought Kou as Miho kissed her again. Miho's legs were against her own; the weight of her teacher was not uncomfortable and caused excitement to well up inside. _This is what I wanted._

Miho pressed against her. The feeling of her breasts pressing against her own chest was delightful. Her imagination was running wild. _How do they feel?_ she wondered. _Can I touch her? If she released my hands, would she be ok if I did?_

Miho's kisses became something different, her tongue licking at the corners of her mouth. There was a sort of fog in her eyes as she gazed into Kou's eyes. "Oh Gou...." she whispered as she released the young girls hands and brought them up to play with the teen's hair and stroke her face. "I... didn't realize how much... joy... this could bring."

Kou moved her hands to hug Miho to her, her fingers splayed to feel as much of her back as possible. _Do I dare touch her in other places?_ she thought. _I don't want to ruin this...._

Miho shivers under Kou's touches with pleasure. "Oh, Gou, you can touch me... a little more..." she says. "I'd like to try... to be a little more adventurous."

Kou nodded and kissed her a small soft kiss. Then she moved her hand up to play with Miho's hair. Her lips touched the older woman's cheek, then her nose before crossing to lay a twin kiss to her other cheek. The other hand slid downward slowly; her eyes watching her beloved's face as she slipped lower and lower. She licked at the corners of Miho's mouth, then kissed her lips again. This time she kissed her harder, her tongue sliding out to lick at her lips as she sought entrance inside. Her hand felt the waistband of the older woman's slacks. She pulled back, her gaze locked on the other woman's eyes as she braved the boundaries. Her fingers explored further down gently touching the soft flesh of her behind.

"Gou, this is so nice... but let's stop..." she said softly, "It isn't that what we're doing is causing me... pain.... I just want this night to remain... perfect and I'm scared that if we go on I'll ruin it. Can we keep this a happy memory?"

Kou smiles. "Sure. For tonight.... this is more than I could have wished for...."

"Thank you for being so... gentle... and wonderful." Miho says kissing her again before sliding off the edge of the sofa. "I'll get the bath ready, would you like to go first?"


	23. Chapter 23

Miho's bathroom wasn't unfamiliar to Kou. She'd been a guest at the apartment many times in the past when she'd been doing her duties as th Iwatobi Swim Club's manager. It was a big room, not nearly as large as the living room or bedroom but still rather opulent. _I wonder how much the rent is here._ Kou thought. _This room is bigger than the one in our house._

Miho had left her a set of pyjamas while she'd explained the bath; she'd taken the time to warn her that the water pressure was high and to take a good grasp on the sprayer prior to turning it on. Kou glanced to verify that both doors were closed before taking off the clothing she'd changed into earlier.

Standing naked in someone else' home was a new experience for her. It wasn't her first time to bathe at a friend's house, she'd actually spent the night at Chigusa's house a few times in middle school, but being in the home of someone special like Ama-chan was definitely a different experience. The earlier kisses were still fresh in her mind and her body felt like it was running in overdrive. Her mind wandered as she turned on the sprayer and began washing herself. The sensation of the hot water hitting her skin sent sparks up throughout her body. "Mmmm," she moaned slightly losing control over herself as the water hit something a bit more sensitive. The spray was joined with soap as she lathered up her skin, moving from her feet upwards. She spent some time on her thighs, enjoying the delightful sensations. She imagined that the fingers caressing her weren't her own, but instead those of the woman waiting outside the privacy of the bath. "Oh... Miho...." she moaned as her fingers touched the outside of her most private spot. She'd touched herself in the past, usually thinking of the muscles of one or another of the swim club boys, but never really focusing on any of them. Before now, it was something she just did to drive off the stress and loneliness she felt. Tonight, however, only one person, one woman, was on her mind as she touched herself. "Aaaaah, god...." she moaned as the spray in her other hand joined her fingers as she worked them into herself. She leaned over, placing the sprayer in its holder so she'd free the other hand which went to work on her breasts. She gasped as she found her nipple, hard and erect as she pinched at it. She imagined that each touch, each movement was not her doing, but that of the older woman. She arched back on the plastic seat in the washing area as she drove herself over the edge, her legs spread lewdly, her fingers deep inside her sex wiggling and caressing and exploring her secret garden. She bit down hard as the feelings overwhelmed her in ecstasy, stifling the scream she wanted to shout knowing it would give away the fact that she'd become so... wanton... in her girlfriend's home.

Sated she finished washing herself, hiding the evidence of her secret encounter with herself as best she could. _I hope... I hope she didn't hear that._ she thought as she nervously imagined Miho outside the door as she had driven herself over the edge. Finishing with a quick wash of her long hair, she sank into the depths of the bath tub. _Next time, I hope... Ama-chan takes part._ she thought playfully as she soaked and let the water work its magic on her still tingly body.


	24. Chapter 24

MIho smiles as she hears the sprayer turn on in the bathroom. Her hand reaches up to her lips. _It felt good._ she thinks. _Maybe... there is hope._ She walks into the living room and collects the bowls and spoons which she takes into the kitchen. She steps to the sink and washes them quickly before putting them back into the cupboard.

The sound of the water stops and she hears her girlfriend splash into the bath. She walks the long way through her living room and bedroom to gather pyjamas for herself. _Maybe she is what I was looking for... maybe she can help me heal._ She places the fresh clothing on her bed and leans back to lay on the western-style bed.

The quiet of the night, with small sounds of the girl in the bath from time to time splashing softly, surrounds her. _Anri, perhaps she can do for me what you couldn't._ she thinks. _And perhaps, just maybe she can help me find the way to forgive you. To forgive myself._

The bathroom door opens and Kou stands there in the pyjamas she had borrowed. "Sorry, I soaked longer than I intended." the teen says. "But the bath is all yours."

Miho stands up. "I hope my shampoo was alright, I don't know what you like...."

"It was fine. I'm... happy... to smell like you." Kou says. "Tonight was... wonderful, my love."

"Oh Gou... if only every night was this amazing." Miho says.

Kou smiles and bends down to kiss her. "Soon, when I graduate we can be together."

"I'd like that." Miho says. "But... do you have plans? College?"

"Well, I would like to go. But the local school is fine. My family isn't made of money so I can't afford to go to a big school in Tokyo or anything. And.... I'd like to be a teacher, to work with you. To be with you."

"We have a long time to plan... and... I'd like to see you try for the big schools. I'm sure... Well, I can help you study. I enjoy that." Miho says.

"I'd like that." Kou smiles. "And it would give me an excuse to spend more time with you."

"Just warning you, I will be harsh." Miho says with a laugh. "But right now, I need to take a bath. I have... a request for you. It's silly. But I'd like you to teach me to swim. I advise the swim team... and can't swim."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: I'm ignoring the reveal in S2 that Gou can't swim.


	25. Chapter 25

"You mean you'll wear a swimsuit." Kou gasped. "You... never wear a swimsuit."

"Well, I don't own one.... I threw all the ones I owned away after," Miho chokes on the words. "I threw them away after I was raped. I didn't want anyone to ever see my body again like that. I started wearing sweaters even when it was hot out. I made excuses like "I have low blood pressure" to explain away my discomfort, but in all honesty I was simply hiding away. I don't want to hide away any more. And...." Kou waits on her words. "I think it will be fun shopping for one... with you."

"Great! I'm looking forward to helping you pick one... or two... or maybe three out." Kou says. "Tomorrow is going to be way too much fun. Now go take your bath. I'm getting impatient waiting to cuddle with you...." She giggles. Despite her pleasuring herself in the bath, the heat was rising once again in her and she knew that Miho wouldn't like it if she tackled her to the bed.

"Ready to be rid of me already?" Miho teases.

"Oh quite the opposite really," Kou says, "I'd like nothing more than to join you and watch as you take your bath."

"Aaa kamisama! You are so forward!" Miho says with a laugh. "Not yet... I like you Gou, but...."

"I know and I understand. Being naked together is a big step and I didn't really mean it." Kou says. "Well, I'd like to... but only when you're ready."

As Miho closes the door to the bath, Kou sits on her teacher's bed. _What am I thinking? Why do I need... want... this so much?_ she thinks. _I'm being so selfish! She lies back on the bed. But she's so cute!_

Shaking herself, she stands back up and heads into the living room. She pulls her planner from her bag and goes over the supplies they need for the swim club. She plays the shopping trip through her mind and tries to push her lewd thoughts into the back of her mind.

"Swimming, eh?" she mumbles. She jots down some notes as she thinks of the lessons she'd taken as a child and the ones her P.E. teacher had drilled into her as she assisted with her classmates. For a seaside town, a surprising number of her classmates were beginners or worse in the water. Most of their parents worked in the sea, either as fishermen or on the docks loading and unloading the boats as they came in from their forays on the high sea.

Her mind wanders thinking of the boats, the one she remembered her father waving to her from on that fateful day. The day he didn't return. It was an accident, but for her it was the biggest tragedy ever. He'd gone over with some of the traps they used to catch crabs. The weighted cage took him to the depths and the men had said it was likely a quick death. But the fear of water weighed on her from those days, the fear of drowning ever present in her mind. It was only recently that she'd once again enjoyed her time in the pool and swimming in the sea. She didn't play with the boys, they were so obsessed with their training but as they swam she had plenty of time to stay close to the shore. She smiled, remembering the training camp with Ama-chan and how she'd begged her to come play in the waves with her. _Soon, she'll be able to come in with me!_ she thought delighted at the thought of her beloved in the water with her. _Maybe I'm like them, deep down, I don't hate the water. I just fear it. I like to swim and I'm fast when I'm in the water._

And then, almost suddenly she realizes that Miho is there, kissing her forehead with a towel still wrapped around her head. "Something on your mind?" Miho asks.

"Oh, just thinking about you... well, to be honest, about our upcoming swimming lessons." Kou says.

"Oh, I'm looking forward to it too." Miho says. "I promise I'll do my best, sensei."


	26. Chapter 26

The two watch another episode of the drama on Miho's television. Kou fought to decide which was better: watching the show or watching Miho's reaction to it.

"I like this show," she admits. "The chemistry between the cops is nice. And the criminals are so funny!"

"Yeah, the way the set up the crimes is fun. I do like watching Aki and Saki's interaction; they're so cute together." Miho says. "Pretty soon they will introduce Aoi's character and things get even more exciting!"

"I look forward to watching it with you." Kou says.

"But, we can't be obvious about our relationship," Miho reminds her. "So, spending time like this," she lifts her hand which is holding Kou's up, "will be special."

"I'm okay with that," Kou says. "It's not like we don't see each other almost every day." She snuggles in closer. "I like having this time be special."

Miho kisses her cheek. "Feeling tired?"

Kou glances at the clock. "Yeah, it was a big day. But... I can stay up if you want... or... we could cuddle more."

"We have... plenty of time." Miho says. "I'm so happy that you're my friend... and girlfriend. I'm... feeling... really comfortable with you, Gou. I was afraid... well, I was afraid that even...."

"You don't need to be scared with me. I love you, I don't want to hurt you." Kou says. "And, I'll follow your lead. I'll be patient."

Miho smiles. "It's not fair and I'm sorry...."

Kou kisses her lips. "You don't need to apologize.... Just being with you is dreamy."


	27. Chapter 27

Hand-in-hand the pair walk into the bedroom. "I need to fix my hair," says Kou. "If I don't, its likely to try to strangle us in our sleep."

Miho laughs. "I know how that is. Anri used to braid her hair at night." she says. "I..." she touches her own hair "I don't have that problem."

"You have such a cute style, though." Kou says. "I'm lazy, I just put it up in a ponytail every day." She gazes into the mirror. "Maybe I'll add some variety... what do you like?"

"You." Miho laughs. "I'm not picky, I like how you wear your hair, but.... you'd look cute any way."

"Well, thank you... but... I guess I'll surprise you." Kou laughs. "Maybe a different style every day."

Miho laughs as she walks up and hugs Kou from behind again. "I hope you don't mind me talking about Anri, she... she's really my only experience with having a girlfriend."

"Miho, I don't mind. She's a part of your past and important to you. I know there's lingering issues, and I'll be here to support you." Kou says. "Besides, I'm the one in your arms right now." She beams a smile into the mirror at Miho. "So, I win."

Miho chuckles. "Gou, you're just the cutest. I never want to let you go."

"I never want to be let go, Miho." Kou says. "And... someday... we'll be together like this all the time." She finishes tying up her hair. "Now, we can snuggle in your bed."

"If this is a dream, I never want to wake up." Miho muses.

"In the morning, we'll wake up in bed with each other." Kou says. "Dreams are nice, but reality is better. I love the real Miho."


	28. Chapter 28

The couple climb into bed together. A few moments pass before Kou slides up and wraps her arms around Miho. She lays a soft kiss on the nape of the older woman's neck and whispers "good night" into her ear before they fade into sleep.

Six AM the next morning, Kou awakens. Miho's wrapped around her, snoring lightly causing Kou to smile. The sound of Miho's breathing in her sleep isn't new to her, but being held like this is a new experience. The desire to not break the spell and simply fall back to sleep is overwhelming and she allows herself to drift back to sleep.

Eight AM the spell is broken. Loudly. The sound of Miho's alarm blaring breaks the silence of the morning. The beeping ends as it switches automatically to a local pop station. Kou giggles. The familiar sound of the songs are typical of her own morning. "Good morning Miho," she whispers, kissing her girlfriend's cheek.

"Nnnnngh," Miho says lifting her arms to wipe the sleep from her eyes. "Gou? Oh! Good morning." she says. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, for the most part." Kou admits. "It is a bit warm in bed with you. I'll need to remember that." The teen stretches. "Waking up in your arms was fantastic. I love you."

"I love you too, Gou-chan." Miho says. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"I saw some eggs and sausage, western style?" Kou suggests. "I don't mind helping out. I like to cook, you know."

"Excellent," Miho says. "I order that sausage special, I took a trip once to Ireland and they had the best sausages. I became hooked." She says as she gets out of the bed. Gazing back, she sees Kou rising on the other side of the bed. Her eyes drift down her back and she blushes as she notices that the pants of Kou's pyjamas are missing. "Pants...." she murmers as her eyes linger on the smooth fabric covering Kou's peach-like behind.

Kou blushes. "As I said, it was a bit warm." She giggles. "So I took off the bottoms."

"It was... just a surprise." Miho says. "I..."

"I don't mind if you look. At all." Kou says. "I'm really happy you like... my body."

Miho blushes crimson. "I don't mean to stare...."

"Yes," the giggling Kou says, "you do. I've noticed how you look at me and I like it. A lot. It makes me feel good. So... stare at me, my love, stare all you want. It makes me feel good."


	29. Chapter 29

The end of breakfast led to another adventure at Miho's closet.

"How about this... and this..." Kou says holding up a tank top and a loose blouse. "It will look so cute on you! You gotta wear it! I want to see my cute girlfriend at her cutest! Now, let's see... I think a nice skirt."

Miho takes the tops from Kou. "This... is okay." she smiles. "I thought for a moment you were only going to have the tank top!"

"Oh no, I... want to show you off, but I want to keep somethings to myself." Kou says laughing. "Hmmm, this skirt... or maybe this one. Do you mind bare legs? Or would you prefer tights? It is supposed to be plenty warm."

Miho almost feels Kou's eyes on her legs. There's a hunger in her gaze that makes her blush self-consciously. "I'll be fine bare.... It might be a bit warm for nylons today."

"Ok, we could do kneesocks." Kou says. "Wait, I've never seen you wearing kneesocks."

"Well, yeah... I mainly wear tights and nylons to work." Miho says. "I... I'm older, you know."

"Doesn't mean you don't have nice legs." Kou says. "Ok, try this on. Do you want to pick my clothes? This is fun!"

"Naw, you have good taste. Feel free to pick whatever you want." Miho says. "I'm happy we're close to the same size." she pauses. "I don't mind going out with you in your uniform, but... this makes it more... special."

"Well, we're just going shopping... but it is a date. So, I want to be special for you." Kou says, stepping close then kissing Miho. "Now, get into those clothes... I won't stare... much."


	30. Chapter 30

Kou eventually decides on an outfit. The combination of the top, pants and a loose sweater surprises her. It was similar to an outfit that Miho would wear to school, only subtly different. "That's a nice outfit," she says. "It's like something I'd wear, but somehow it feels different when you pair that sweater with that top."

"Well, yeah, I tried to stay away from something that would shout "Look, I'm wearing Ama-chan's clothes."" Kou says. "We know that these are borrowed, but... the world doesn't need to know."

"Yeah, I'm happy you're thinking about that," Miho says. "I was a bit concerned, we are going out together."

"Well, you have excellent taste, Miho," Kou says, "But rather than using them to draw eyes, you wear them in combinations that lessen the effect. You've a beautiful body under those sweaters. It is a shame you hide it."

"Oh... but... I don't want people staring at me." Miho says.

"I know. I want you to stare at me," Kou giggles, "So I'm using your clothes to draw your attention."

"You're such a pretty girl, Gou, you'd draw attention no matter what you do." Miho says causing Kou to blush. "Now, let's go shopping."

"Finally, our date begins." Kou says. "I can't wait to help you pick out a nice swimsuit."

"Well, you are teaching me to swim," Miho says. "I hope you don't mind that I'm kind of nervous. It has been a long time since I've worn a swimsuit."

"Well, you've kept yourself in shape and you have a nice body," Kou says, "This will be easy. Since we're swimming, I think a one-piece would be best. Besides, I want you to be comfortable and... I get the feeling that starting with a bikini would bring back bad memories."

"Probably. I'm glad you're being so patient with me, Gou," Miho says, "it means a lot that you're considering my feelings."

"Honestly, I think that you're pretty regardless of what you wear," Kou admits, "You don't have to show off a lot of skin as a crutch. Actually, I think that wearing a little more is actually... sexier."

"What do you mean?" Miho asks.

"Well," Kou begins, "imagining what you look like... underneath... your clothes...."

Miho blushes.

"And now I'm sounding like some sort of pervert..."

"No, honey, you aren't... I'm glad you're attracted to me." Miho says. "And... to be honest, I've thought about you... like that."

It's Kou's turn to blush. "Really? You think about me? Like... with my suit pulled down... exposing my breasts... with drops of sweat running over them... dripping slowly down, then disappearing into the fabric as you...."

Miho coughs.

"Oh, I did it again...." Kou giggles. "I... get a bit... excited sometimes."

"Usually over the boy's muscles." Miho points out.

"But not always... I like their muscles, but...." Kou says. "That's different... I don't think about them touching me, like I do when I think about you. About their fingers in my hair, on my skin, sliding down my back and into my swimsuit...."

"You're doing it again." Miho says laughing.

"You're enjoying this." Kou says.

"More than a little. But...." Miho's smile darkens a little. "We need to move slowly... carefully.... I like you a lot Gou, but I may not be able to meet your needs."

"Miho, just being with me is enough. We can go as slow, or as fast, as you'd like. I... know how to handle my desires, if it comes to that." Kou admits.

"You mean..." Miho says. "You mean, um, masturbation?"

"I'm not a little girl, Miho. I know how to make myself feel good." Kou says. "I'm ready for this... for us... but I can be patient. I love you and don't want to pressure you."

"Oh, Gou, why do you feel like the grown-up?" Miho asks.

"Cause, my love, I am... mostly... grown-up." Kou says. "And I've had to take care of myself a lot. My brother ran off to Australia, my mother works, my grandmother passed on... I've had plenty of experience in doing "grown-up" things."

Miho sighs. "We are so much alike... it's kind of scary."

"Not scary, wonderful." Kou corrects her.

"Are you sure you're not an angel?" Miho says.

"Naw, I'm relatively certain I'm a devil...." Kou says giggling. "And, if we don't leave soon, I'll show you just how devilish I am."


	31. Chapter 31

A silence hangs over the car as the women drive to Iwatobi DolphinS. The sound of the car's operation is the only thing. Kou sits, gazing out the window for the most part. _Did I do something wrong? Is she mad at me? Did I tease her too much?_ she thinks as they drive.

"Ugh, I'm sorry Kou... I was lost in thought." Miho says as she breaks the silence.

"You didn't do anything wrong... I thought maybe I did. I... got carried away there." Kou admits. "Sometimes I get... carried away by my thoughts."

"If your... moments... were a deal breaker, we'd not be friends, much less girlfriends." Miho says. "I find them refreshing. You speak your mind so freely, so... openly. I wish I could do the same. And I'm terribly amused by your moments with the boys. It's nice to see someone react to them... to the way they look... and not hold back."

"Well, I appreciate their muscles. Especially their deltoids and triceps." Kou says. "Especially Makoto's. They're so well-defined."

Miho laughs. "Yes, they are. And there is so much of them."

"Yeah, I have to say, I think the swim team has completely cornered the market on beautiful muscles. The other teams just don't compare." Kou says. "But, honestly, I think I may have been trying too hard. Sure, they're nice boys but they're, how do I put it, they're very much into each other and I'm... well, I'm far more interested in spending time with you than any of them."

"Even your brother?" Miho says.

"That's different. I have... issues with Rin. He went away when Mom needed him most. And I needed him. And then... when he came back, he went away again. It is so frustrating!" Kou says. "I need my brother, but not like that. The only one I need like that is you, love."

"That makes me happy, Gou," Miho says. "And honestly, I look forward to... being with you."

"I love being with you. Honestly, I may have been oblivious to my own feelings before, but deep down I wanted this so bad." Kou says. "And... I'm looking forward to teaching you to swim."

"Why is that?" Miho says.

"I think that by helping you swim, you'll become more at ease with me. " Kou says. "Honestly, I don't think it will take that long. Rei-kun picked up swimming quickly."

"He can only do the butterfly." Miho points out. "He drowns if he tries anything else."

"That's all in his head." Kou says. "You won't have that problem. I'm sure of it. And since we have the pool and all the equipment we could need, I'm confident that I'll have you swimming like a fish in no time. I've thought about this a lot. I think I want to teach kids how to swim in the future so teaching you... it will help me in my future."

Miho chuckles. "You... really like making plans, don't you?"

"It isn't that I mind spontaneity. But yes, I do enjoy making plans." Kou admits. "Just wait... I'm not showing you all my cards yet, dear."

"Kami-sama, what have I gotten myself into?" Miho says with a sigh.

"Not yet... but soon." Kou says with a wink. "Oh yes, soon."

"Incorrigible." Miho says.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Kou laughs.


	32. Chapter 32

Miho pulls Yoshitaka into a parking space, places the pink Cube into park and cuts the engine. "Well, we're here." she says gazing up at the sign proclaiming it to be DolphinS. "I don't suppose I could buy a suit...."

"You're not going to be competing," Kou says, "We'll buy you a cute suit at the mall. Something that isn't... as restrictive as the sort of suits they sell here."

"It sounds like you're speaking from experience." Miho replies.

"I... well, don't tell the boys, okay?" Kou asks.

"Promise." Miho says smiling.

"I competed in swimming until middle school, I was pretty good... but Iwatobi High doesn't have a girl's team and I didn't want to transfer to another city." Kou says. "So I stopped competing."

"Were you good?" Miho asks.

Kou laughs. "I was the best." Kou says. "It was hard to give up... and I got a little depressed about it."

"If it hurts...." Miho says. "Why do you train the boys?"

"I don't hate it. And... being their manager gets me close to the water. And I can swim in the pool. And, well, watching them helps me remember." Kou says. "I miss it. I stopped training, gained weight and got out of shape."

"You seem fine to me." Miho says.

"Well, it isn't like I completely stopped. I'm still running and stretching and doing some cardio. I work out in gym class, I even lift a little using my brother's weights." Kou says.

"By yourself?" Miho says. "That's dangerous, Kou-chan."

The pair walk into the store and Kou grabs a cart. "I know it's dangerous, but I'm not doing presses. I'm just... well, I guess I should find a partner. Maybe... Naw, I don't think it would be right to ask you. I'd be imposing and we need to keep our... friendship... under wraps, right?"

"But... I want to." Miho sighs.

"And I want you to. But my mother wouldn't approve." Kou says. "And, well, working out gets me going. I'm afraid if you were there, I'd lose control."

"I'm afraid you'll lose control anyways." Miho says laughing.

"I promise you, I will not... do anything without your consent or instruction, Ama-chan." Kou says. "No matter how much I... want to."

"I know and I'm glad... I only wish. I wish I wasn't so broken." Miho says with a sigh. "But, I'm so happy you're with me."

Kou stops. "I'm glad...." she starts to say more when she notices a boy ahead of them. "Oh! Hi Momotarou-kun!" she calls out to him.


	33. Chapter 33

"Oh, good day Momotarou-san." Miho says trying to hide her blush by playing off being a teacher.

"Oh, Ama-sensei, it is nice to see you..." the boy says his eyes never leaving Kou. "You two are shopping together?"

"Yes, I needed to get some supplies for the pool at Iwatobi High and sensei offered to drive," Kou says. "The chemicals get heavy and she was going this way and Mako-chan was busy."

"Oh, do you need some help? I'll do anything for you." the boy says as his eyes roamed the teenage girl's body.

"I'm sure you would, Momotarou-san, but we can manage." Miho says hoping she's not being too rude and overprotective. "Kou-chan is in good hands... my hands."

"Oh, yes, sensei. Sorry... I didn't mean to offend," the boy says backpedalling. "I hope I see you soon, Kou-chan."

"Did I go too far?" Miho says panicked. "I... said too much... stupid Miho."

"No, no, no... Don't beat yourself up cause you protected me, Miho, he's too direct." Kou says. "I really appreciate it and I don't think he took it the way you meant it." She smiles broadly. "At least, I hope you meant it the way I took it."

"I'm not beating myself up, really. I'm just concerned I said too much. You know about us. I want this to work, I need this to work and I just about declared it out loud cause... I was jealous." Miho says. "The way he looked at you. I was weak. Ok, maybe I am beating myself up." Miho laughs. "But I have to try harder."

"I know you're trying your best, Miho, but... if it is too hard. I can wait for you. I'm willing to...." Kou starts.

"No. No. Please, don't even say that!" Miho says. "I finally... I finally found someone I think I can move forward with... don't... please... no... don't abandon me."

Kou watches as tears fall down her teaches face. "Miho..." she says moving toward her.

"No. Not until you promise me." Miho says. "Even if the world is against us, Gou, even if everyone else hates us. I want to give you all of me. Don't make me regret this too."

"I will not abandon you. I'm sorry I even... I love you Miho. I just don't know what to say." Kou admits. "But... we can't do this here." She looks around. "Our future happiness, let's protect it. Together."


	34. Chapter 34

The couple duck into the women's restroom together. Miho refreshes her makeup, having spoiled it with her tears. As the door closes, Kou hits the lock. "You ok?" she asks.

"I'll be okay, just panicked." Miho admits. "I'm the one who should be used to keeping relationships a secret, but here I am acting like a fool."

"Hey, it has been a while, and well, I'm happy you stepped in cause he makes me want to slug him." Kou says. "It is nice to be noticed and found attractive, but the way he shows it goes too far. I feel dirty after he... well, his eyes...."

"If you ever need help, I'm here for you, Gou." Miho says. "I know how that feels, how it feels to be treated like an object rather than a person. How it feels to be liked for the outside, not the inside."

"I... thank you Miho, I don't know how to say how he makes me feel. At first it was nice, since you know none of the boys in my life really paid attention to me. But it got so old. I just felt like I was on display at the supermarket and was day old to the oblivious boys." Kou says. "I don't feel that way with you. I know you like me, and you like my body, which makes me happy. I will admit I'm very interested in your body as well, Miho, but I like you as a person first. The times we've spent together have been special."

A knock on the door reminded them that they weren't the only women who came to DolphinS and with a small apology they rushed out of the bathroom. Kou gathered up the things they needed at the store quickly now that Momo wasn't interrupting their shopping and they checked out. With Miho's help, loading the supplies into her pink car was easy. "So, let's go shopping for real now!" Kou said smiling. "I don't mind buying supplies for the boys, but I'd much rather dress you up."

Miho laughs. "Within reason please, I'm not a doll."

"Spoilsport!" Kou says sticking out her tongue. "I have some ideas and I'll need to borrow some space in your closet. I like wearing your clothes, but it would be better if I had some of mine stashed away."

"Already moving in, are ya?" Miho teases.

"It never hurts to be prepared. And, well, I'd like to at least have the basics so, well, I'm not wearing the same pants and bra two days in a row." Kou says. "It just feels weird, you know."

"Well, we should get you some other things, like shampoo , toothbrush, your own set of bowls and chopsticks." Miho says. "Yes, I have done this before...."

"I bow to your experience, sensei." Kou giggles. "So many firsts for me, and I hope to give them all to you."


	35. Chapter 35

Miho watches as Kou finishes putting the goods they had purchased at DolphinS into her car. Her eyes linger on her, watching her move while her ponytail sways in the wind.

"I'll put the cart back," the young woman says. "Then, maybe lunch? I'm hungry."

"So am I," Miho says with a smile. _"But not for food."_ she thinks surprising herself. _"When was the last time I could legitimately say that I felt like this, this excitement and desire?"_

Before she realizes it, Kou is seated in the passenger seat. "So, I know this great ramen place if you'd like," she says, "it's a bit off the beaten path but we'll have privacy there. I wouldn't want another repeat of earlier."

"Sounds good to me," Miho replies as she pulls out of the parking lot. "Direct me."

The couple drive the short distance to the restaurant. It isn't quite the cart that Miho remembered from her time in Tokyo, but it was a simple place with a cook behind the counter and a bored-looking girl serving the few other patrons at tables. After being greeted by the cook and waitress, Kou leads Miho to a table by hand and they sit next to each other. A simple menu is posted on the wall above the barstools and counter and Miho gives it a cursory glance.

"I'm a fan of their tonkotsu ramen, but everything is good. The cook is amazing," Kou says smiling. "This is my favorite ramen place, but it's a bit far of a walk. Thank you again for spending the day with me."

"Gou-chan being with you is a pleasure," Miho says stifling a giggle. "And, well, spending a day with you isn't some great chore, I enjoy your company. Honestly, the time we've spent at training camp and at meets has been wonderful. I should be thanking you. It's been nice to have a girl... friend."

"I'm just so happy right now," Kou says, "I really... I don't know what to say. I guess I'm relieved that you... like me. I wasn't sure if, well, I wasn't sure if you'd get upset and distance yourself from me if I was honest about how I feel about you. Honest about how I feel at all. This isn't something that is easy. And you're making it... almost too easy."

"I understand. And while we're being honest, I'm scared that I'm being too... open," Miho says, "I am finding myself feeling things I didn't think I was able to any more. I'm happy too, Gou. I'm real happy. And excited." Miho smiles as she leans close. "You're making me feel things I thought were impossible. Naughty things."

Kou blushes. "I'm glad," she whispers, "I want you so much."

Miho glances around. "Maybe... later... we can try... something," she whispers back. "If... you'd like."

"Yes!" Kou says loudly then blushes harder as a couple heads turn at her exclamation. She composes herself. "I mean... I'd love to try...."


	36. Chapter 36

Kou glances across the car at her teacher. The words that came from her lips still echoed in her mind. _"We're going to do this..."_ she thinks to herself smiling. Her mind replays all the soft touches they'd shared since the night before, the stolen kisses, the moments of heat where she nearly melted into the woman that she has come to desire so much.

Miho's voice breaks the silence, "whatcha thinking?"

"Happy thoughts," Kou replies, "but frightening things as well. I worry about you, Miho, and if you...."

"Don't worry about me so much, love," Miho says giggling, "I do that enough for both of us. I want you to relax, to enjoy... our time together. I want us to enjoy this."

"How could I not?" Kou laughs, "I mean, you're so beautiful... I can't believe you're... mine."

"I feel the same way," Miho says, "I mean... I've thought about this, about being with you, so much but I never thought that it could happen. I mean, I'm your teacher, I'm a woman, and you're... a girl. A very beautiful girl who could have any boy she wanted. Kou, honestly, if I'm pressuring you into this, please... please tell me. I want everything to be open and honest between us. I love you, I know it is wrong for me to feel this way, but I can't stop my heart."

"I understand what you're saying, Miho, but you aren't pushing anything on me. I'm young, yes, but I'm aware of myself. I know I desire you, I love you in ways I've never dreamed of before.... Yes, this is fast, but I... can't deny my love. I can't deny how you make me feel," Kou says, "I can't deny that every heartbeat I'm with you I fall deeper in love with you. I can't deny what is in my heart."

Miho's laugh fills the car. "Why was I born... so many years before you? If I had had you in high school, I'd never have done so many... things.... I'd not have suffered so."

"Miho, my love, I wish I could go back in time and rescue you from your pain, but... I can't. I love the you that is sitting next to me now, the you that cried with me last night, every part of you even the scars. I love you... every single bit of you. And..." Kou pauses, "I hope someday that I help you heal, that I become what you are to me."


End file.
